Modesty Has Nothing to Do With It
I dress modestly, but modesty has nothing to do with it. My body is valuable and I know it is worth looking at. That is why I conceal it. A popular quote of debated origin states, "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself. It's thinking of yourself less." I will paraphrase this. Modesty isn't thinking less of yourself. It's showing less of yourself. Women instinctively know that revealing their bodies is sexually attractive. This is why men find bikinis and lingerie so appealing. When women dress revealingly, it is more difficult for men to look them in the eye. Their gaze is drawn downward by the lack of clothing. When I dress discreetly (I use the term discreetly, because I hate the connotation of the word modestly.) I force men to look me in the eye. The eye is a window into the soul and that’s what I want people to see. When I dress discreetly, I preserve the control I have over my sexuality. If I were to dress revealingly, then every person I passed on the street would be able to share in my body: the father of two kids, the 13-year-old boy, the alcoholic, the porn addict…. Because my body is valuable, I want to be selective about who I share it with.
Discreetly: A PR Move
Modesty needs better PR. When modern women are told they need to dress more modestly, they think you are insulting their bodies. They think you are insinuating the female form is something to be ashamed of or that they are not pretty enough to dress revealingly. They think you are offended by them and so are offended by you. To change this perception, the first PR move modesty needs to make is to undergo a rebranding. Instead of using the term modestly, we need to use the term discreetly. This will remove any connotation of insult or insecurity from the style.
The second PR move is more of a practice. Women who dress discreetly should do so fashionably. The common perception is that women who dress discreetly have to forgo current fashion trends and lose social cachet in the process. They think discretion makes you an outsider. To combat this perception, women who dress discreetly should do so fashionably. For example, crop tops are currently fashionable. Discreet women should wear them with high-waisted jeans. This way, they are still fashionable, but without revealing their stomachs.
The female form has always been admired as beautiful, mysterious, and alluring. Women should take great pride in this. In doing so, they should lean on mystery as an important element of attraction. They will preserve control over their sexuality and force men to look them in the eye and admire their souls in the process.
Photo by Mohammed Hassan on Unsplash